A 17 year old college freshman who wants to live in a world where baby pandas are handed out like free candy.

 

guy:

when someone keeps trying to take a pic of u when u already said no

image

(Source: guy)

me: are there any spirits listening

ouija: yes are you alone

me: yes

ouija: haha nice whats up :P

me: trying to contact my dead grandmother

ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol

slightlywarmtopic:

Calm ur tit
Just one tit
Leave the other one crazy and out of control
That ur party tit

bloner:

things that should be allowed to be used in essays:

  • i shit you not
  • you feel me
  • no but get this
  • i’m just sayin
  • let me explain to you a thing
  • and yeah

(Source: hectorstaco)

society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.

person: okay.

society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.

person: sounds awful. what's my second option.

society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.

person: still seems pretty awful.

society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!

person: well, are they at least free? like how people can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.

society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.

person:

society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.

person:

society:

person: i think i'll go with my third option.

society:

person:

society: what third option?

person: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.